Lyrics LSP1 – Half Ok, Half Not | New Today Lyrics

Well, now i’ve got a little mother who thinks it’s her fault
It’s never your fault, even if you’re in a cult
You may be doing your life away, but you’re doing it for a reason
No, it’s never just for a reason
It’s just for a treason
This season, we have lost so much people to death
I can’t think of all the bad things in my mind
I’m an arsehole for not going to your funeral
Maybe now, i’ll just have to tie a rope around my neck and jump it ’til it pulls me to death

chorus
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
I got these scars and pain
My life has gone down the drain
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
It’s a cunt of a life
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
I got these scars and pain
My life has gone down the drain
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
It’s a cunt of a life
(maybe i’ll find a way to avoid all the pain)

verse 2
I’ve lost a little brother
But i also gained another
Just for him to die before i got to meet ‘im
I’m always rappin’ ’bout the shit that doesn’t affect me
And i’ll take a seat, let me tell you the story of how my rapping came to be
I was bullied, belted, tormented
And picked on at school
Until i turned to rap just to feel safe
And now, i don’t care if i can never find a date
Because rap is enough for me
I’ll show you why i am lsp1
It’s because i’m not ok, and in the end, it doesn’t even matter
Those were the words of chester bennington years before his death
I looked him in the eyes, and now, i can’t take anything back

chorus
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
I got these scars and pain
My life has gone down the drain
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
It’s a cunt of a life

verse 3
I watched all my idols die right in front of my eyes
It’s surprising i’m not gonna be next to die
I can’t get anything right
No wonder why people call me a mumble rapper
No wonder why people call me a fuckin’ clapper
I don’t think you know what the shit i go through
Behind the scenes, my dad and step brother would fuckin’ torment me
Poke fun at me, just because i wanted to rap
I just wanna put my town on the map

Sit my future kids and my wife on my laps
But now, i can’t do that ever again, now, thanks to you guys
And it’s always gonna be your fault
Maybe i can find a way to avoid all the pain

chorus
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
I got these scars and pain
My life has gone down the drain
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
It’s a cunt of a life

verse 4
I’m living in an episode of my life that i’m forgetting to close
I just wanna be able to rest without people judging me for being a
13-year-old rapper who wants to rap
I don’t wanna have to diss a clapper
But i had to end you like a turkish person ends turkish delight
My brother is like an executioner
That’s not a diss, i just wanted to miss and now
How about i kiss this rap scene goodnight?

And now it goes without saying, this is my last recording
’cause if you’re hearing this now, it means i must’ve done it
First off, i really need to tell you just how much i’m sorry
I know the news of my death is gruesome and hard to stomach
I’m sorry too, for those who end up in the bathroom
Scrubbin’ up the mess, i guess i was clumsy
The shit was far too bloody
Plus, the blade, it was blunt and it couldn’t cut in properly
I was such in a hurry, as close, i can’t out run it

I’m not gonna be able to help you when you need me
I just wanna be able to live life
Without being hated all the time, i just wanna love life
And now i’m gonna charge at the world to save myself
And if i can’t, then i’m not ok

chorus
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
I got these scars and pain
My life has gone down the drain
I’m half ok, but i’m also half not
(it’s a cunt of a life)

verse 5
I’m never gonna be able to let go of anything
Ever since i was a kid i’ve felt felt this way
The black sheep, i can never rid myself of any hate
Some say it’s a mental disease
Well, i just pray that i can make it to the end of the week
It’s like i only find happiness when dead or asleep
Maybe in time, it’ll get better for me
But it forever repeats
It’s like i’m on a search to find my inner peace
And the fact, i know it’s never there, it’s killin’ me

And now, i know i’m gonna have to fight to survive
But i’m not ever gonna believe you
I may be half ok, half not, but i’m 100% there for you